Love : It isn’t what its not! 

​I love her. Three simple words of realization. But can I actually define love. Isn’t it as good as saying I don’t hate her. I think not. I keep tossing corners as I know I have to break the news to her. How, is still a question I am contemplating. Has it to be a big romantic gesture with flowers and gifts, or will it suffice to just spell out what she means to me! But if love is, what I think it to be then simplicity is my best companion. 

As I walk towards her home, I have a brilliant smile on my face and my heart is pacing to the tune of the fresh morning breeze. Do I fear rejection? To be honest, I do. Will I stop loving her? No. Love is beyond one’s control. If we had the liberty to fall in love and come out of it at will, I don’t know how much worse the world could get than it already is. How much do I love her? Enough to let her go. Enough to disappear and to be discovered. Enough to see the world fade and still hope. 
While my mind bombards my heart with questions, I am amazed by one single fact. I do have all answers, afterall.  Of what love means, of what it is and what it isn’t. It has manifested it’s aura in my soul. Love is indeed an wonderful energy! It is the fighting ground of emotions. It is where envy, jealousy, anger and hatred find their breeding space. But it is only when we rise above this mediocrity, that we discover its untainted form. They often use the word True Love. I consider the adjective to be redundant. If it is anything other than true, than love it is not. Honesty is not built into it, it is the very foundation on which it stands. 
I am now standing infront of her home. I climb the stairs. I am nervous but happy. I ring the door bell. After a while, she opens the door. She stands there, beautiful as always and even more. I kiss her cheeks and enter the room. She smiles. I can feel her. I can see it in her eyes.
We jump over topics and issues. Suddenly I am all weak. I try to garner in myself the strength for this seemingly impossible task. Exactly at the time when I am about to say, she says that she wants to tell me something extremely important. I don’t know what it is. Suddenly her face is all changed. There is intensity in her eyes. That smile suddenly lost. I feel a bit uncomfortable. It is as if I am going to confront something that I don’t think I am ready for. She hesitates. I look her in the eye. She is reassured. She takes a deep breath and says, “I have been diagnosed with Cancer. So here it is, this is my end.”. Almost as a reflex I get down on my knee and say, “I love you. Will you marry me? This can be our start.”

Let me keep her reply ambiguous. It was not about some success or failure. It was not about me or her. It was about the play of time. But time doesn’t bind love. In what little time we can gather, a million special moments can be treasured. What will life be beyond it, is something I am unaware of. And I don’t really want to find about it now. In the aftermath, one does forsee only pain. For life cannot be caged in memories till eternity. But however hard we try not to, with each changing page on the face of the calendar we do move on. Love remains. Its presence changes. It is relived. In places, words and stories. But it remains. 
Will I fall in love again? If I do, will it mean I didn’t love her. If I do, will it mean that time had tested it’s strength and I had failed. At this time I do not have the answers but time does. And in its mischief, my answers will get manifested. 

The Last Day

​Silence. No ushering wind, no words, no rhythm in the air. Silence. Even the pages didn’t flip, it was as if there was no story left to be told. The sky was dark and covered with a blanket of clouds. The twinkling stars all hid and moon was too shy to appear. Stillness. Time had forgotten its way. Every minute seemed like a lifetime. This silence, this stillness was all within me. The nature had just eloped with my idea of life and after so long I could feel the depth of my soul. Ah, what a night it is! What a beautiful beautiful night it is going to be! 

There was nothing to remember and nothing to forget. The devious plan of man to take control had at last to be at the mercy of almighty’s creations. If what there was before nothing and what there will be after all chaos had subsided into the realm of infinty were one and the same, then there is nothing progressive in human life. For our lies had outnumbered the truths we have told. Not just the lies to others, but those to ourselves. Of making ourselves believe that we are something, someone other than what we never were. The more we try to fit to this superficial mechanical block of the world’s belief, the more disgrace we bring to our purpose. They say we all are broke, for it is from there the light enters. I say, we all are broke inside and our thick skins doesn’t give light the chance to make us shine. 
But now the time has come, and silence is going to take it all over. I know there will be no tomorrow. Nothing to wake to. Nothing to be excited about. Nothing to worry for. I am finally going to merge with HIS soul. I know no fear. For the first time in my lifetime, I am new. My soul aloft with idea of freedom. 

At twilight, I wake up to a new today. But the concept of time is now all but deceived. There is no end now. No future. All that is, is today. And that is what there ever  will be.

The Journey

Delving into their own secrets
Man, is God’s only imperfection.
Why deemed so low,  low deemed it itself,
It,  thing is not,  then why hopelessly insane.
Foresaking the values,  it lowers down,
From bounties of love into endless frown.

On wiser occasions of dying fame,
It vents in the tears of happiness,
Of common things and legacy
Fallacy in chosen paths one cannot see.

For it to become he,
Is knitting the words to life
Every letter placed in synchrony,
Every sentence is its symphony.

And then the final journey set
Treading the soul in valiant ways.
To reach the peak, beautiful the path must be.
Its grace seeps in till eternity.